This is going to be a different sort of recap post (and thank you Jolie for suggesting what I was already leaning towards, which confirmed I was going in the right direction!). Instead of talking about each workshop and what I thought of it, I want to share some lessons I learned, and general feelings I had, and why this was such a valuable experience for me.
The first lesson is about being at once patience and persistent. I got my spot at the Massive by supporting a crowdfunding campaign where it was one of the backer rewards, and I had a lot of trouble actually claiming my reward. It reached a point where I started to feel like I didn’t even want to go to the event, it was going to be too stressful to organize the trip and I shouldn’t spend the money traveling, blah blah blah. I almost gave up, but it all worked out in the end, thanks to persistence and helpful friends and Tori herself.
The second lesson was about not letting others color my opinion of someone (within reason). There were a couple of teachers at this event that I had avoided studying with because friends of mine had said things about them that made it seem like they were not nice to be around. I actually enjoyed my classes with those teachers. From now on I am not going to pre-judge a dancer based on one person potentially meeting them on a bad day.
The third lesson was not to outright dismiss a teacher that said a few things I disagreed with. After all of the years I’ve been dancing, I have some pretty strong opinions about dance. Some teachers like to share their strong, dissenting opinions in class. Just because we disagree about something doesn’t mean they might not later say something that will actually hold real value for me, so I need to keep an open mind and listen to everything they said, and filter the good from the bad.
The fourth lesson was that I am not as bad as I think I am. I’ve been in a funk lately. I haven’t been able to pass the test for Cultivation. I haven’t been practicing much. I’m really unhappy to still be in Arizona. I looked at the schedule for my 37.5 hours of class and I felt like I was not going to be able to handle it. But you know what? I handled it. I only sat out of class once for about 5-10 minutes when my body was tired and my brain felt like it was leaking out my ears and I just needed to take a breather and watch before tackling the next class. And even then I was active, quietly mouthing the steps of the combination and echoing some of them in my hands and body to try to better understand it.
Speaking of understanding, my fifth lesson was to finally learn the value of taking a choreography or combo workshop as a method of getting into a dancer’s head and getting a better understanding of how dances are put together. Instead of stressing about trying to learn it perfectly, from now on I’ll approach combos and choreos with curiosity, to try to figure out why the dancer chose those moves.
The sixth lesson is that my feelings about a dancer as a performer and a teacher will not always line up. Although I think every one of the teachers at Massive was technically incredible and an important contributor to the genre, there are a couple whose dancing has never particularly inspired me, and yet I learned a LOT in their classes. There was another teacher whose dancing I really liked, but whose teaching style did not really align well with my learning style — I still learned a lot in her class but it was more of a struggle for me to approach the material. The side lesson from this is that it’s OK to feel “meh” about a dancer that almost everyone else seems to love watching. Art is subjective!
The seventh and final lesson was more of a reminder… But there’s still so much I can learn, and so much work I can do to improve myself as a dancer! That’s always the best lesson, when a teacher can send you out into the world with a few new tricks or idea, and a whole lot of inspiration for further exploration and practice.
Now for… feelings!
My biggest feeling is that I am so glad I did this, and I really want to find a way to go back next year. I’m pretty sure I’ve written before about how my interest is shifting away from festivals. They’re fun, but it’s hard to really learn a lot in 90-120 minutes with one teacher, and then move on to another teacher. There’s a real value in being in a track with a group of students and spending a long time with a single teacher or a handful of teachers. I really value the time I spent exploring the dance world at festivals, but at this stage in my journey I feel like I can benefit a lot more from the intensive format.
I’m also feeling a lot of gratitude for Tori and Yaniv, who run the Massive. I didn’t really interact with Yaniv, but Tori was around every day, and we were provided with both of their phone numbers in case we found ourselves lost, in danger, or in need of a friend. So often at larger events the organizers have their hands full and you almost never see them, but Tori was a constant presence and I felt like if I had had a problem, I could have turned to her at any time. She was so very helpful in getting me up to speed after my crowdfunding hassle. I also really appreciate some of the things they did to make the event more all-inclusive: show tickets and shuttle rides were included with the package, our class badge served as a VIP pass to get into the shows a few minutes early so students could have good seats, and we even got a little welcome bag with goodies and info on Vegas.
I’m not going to lie, I also had some sad and lonely feelings while I was there (more about that in its own, separate blog post). But in the end I left happy that I had made a few new friends, who I will hopefully cross paths with again in the future. I did get to see a few old friends too, but they were all in different tracks than me, so we mainly just had hugs in hallways or a few minutes to speak before or after the shows!
Over all, I’m left with the feeling that I am on the right path in life, balancing my time between freelance jobs that help pay for dance, and intense dance training. As little as some people might like it, it’s also the right decision for me to be moving on from AZ to someplace where I’ll have more opportunities for growth. I had a few great interactions with teachers that reminded me how much I love to learn, and left me feeling encouraged to keep learning more, whether it’s in the studio or in a book. This all cycles back to my first lesson: patience and persistence!
I am back from Seattle! Waking Persephone was such an amazing experience that it’s going to take a few blog posts for me to say everything I want to say about it. As such, expect new posts every week day until I run out of words, at which point we’ll go back to a MWF schedule.