As much as I would like to think of myself as a whimsical free spirit, the truth is I am a definite rules follower. Even if I think the rules are dumb, I will almost always follow them (I have been known to bend certain rules, such as the speed limit). Oh sure, I’ll complain the entire way, and I’ll try to find ways to remove myself from situations where I have to follow rules I disagree with, but in general I like to know what the rules are and I like to follow them. I’ve also been known to get really annoyed at people who break rules, but that’s not really related to what I want to talk about today.
There are a lot of situations where there are no hard and fast “rules” to follow. Oh, there are people who will try to tell you what the “rules” are, but those people are often expressing their opinions and don’t have any real authority to make or enforce the rules they’re stating. Cases like this frustrate me, because when I don’t have rules to follow and someone tells me “it should be this way,” even if I don’t agree with them and even if I know they don’t have the right or power to tell me what to do, I’m left with this lingering sense that I have somehow failed, that I am letting someone down, that I have downright offended somebody.
Now realistically, I realize that it’s difficult to get through life without offending anyone, and I don’t want to change my life in such a way that I would never offend anyone, because that would be boring, and possibly impossible, because surely someone would be offended by my attempts to be inoffensive. Complicating matters is the fact that although I like to follow the rules, I have a huge contrary streak. So while I will adhere to real rules and laws, if someone tells me “I don’t think people should do X” then I’m rather likely to dig in my heels and say “Oh really? Well, I do X and I love it and I’m awesome at it and everyone thinks I’m cool and you’re stupid. So there.”
Obviously I’m talking about belly dance stuff here. When someone brings up a topic like cultural appropriation, or whether or not tribal fusion is belly dance, I get these conflicting emotions. Part of me feels really upset that I might be doing something wrong and I might have offended someone, and part of me wonders who that person thinks they are, telling me and those around me what to do? And because there are no hard and fast RULES about these issues, and no High Council of Totally Legit Belly Dance to tell me what parts of a culture I can put into my art, and how many belly dance moves I have to use to still be a belly dancer, I find myself stressing unnecessarily.
Some good does come out of these issues, of course. Every time a subject like this comes up, it forces me to take some time and reevaluate my own thoughts and practices. Have I done something recently that seems like it may have crossed the line into cultural appropriation? Are there ways that I can be even more respectful of the roots of my dance? Are there elements of what I’m doing that I need to research more thoroughly to make sure I’m presenting them in the right light? Similarly, how is my belly dance foundation? Have I maybe wandered too far afield with my music and costuming choices? Is it time to get a little more old school for a bit? How can I better express to my audience the differences between tribal fusion and other belly dance styles, while showing that I think they’re both awesome art forms?
I guess my take-away from all of this is that in cases where there is nobody who can establish a clear set of rules, it’s important to make our own rules. Oh, I don’t mean that in a maverick cop who doesn’t play by the book sort of way, I mean in a common sense, what works for me, what seems like the most respectful option sort of way. Make sure that you feel a sense of conviction about your personal ruleset, and that you are confident that you can explain yourself. But also be willing to be flexible, to go back to your rules and change them as you gain new perspective.