Today’s post is inspired by a combination of my own experiences and experiences related to me by other dancers and things I have witnessed being said and done to my fellow dancers. I think it gives a pretty accurate picture of what dancers have to deal with on a regular basis.
When I am at a show, my only obligation is to dance, and hopefully entertain you with my dance. That is the end of it. I am not there to flirt with you. I am not there to give you my number. I am not there to be catcalled on the street, walking from my car to the venue. I am not there to “shake it” even if there is some vaguely shaking-like motion in my dance. I am not there for you to leer at. I am not there to hug you. I am not there to answer your questions about my marital status, my age, my hair color, or any other personal question you can dream up. I am not obligated to pose for photos with you and your friends, though I may agree to if you’re nice about it. I am not there to fulfill your fantasies or live up to your stereotypes. I am not there for you to put dollars in my bra.
And if you are unhappy about any of these, don’t try to lecture me about “customer service.” Putting up with your looming presence and inappropriate comments is not in my job description, and if you are not paying me directly to dance for you, you are not even my customer or my employer, you are just a random face in the crowd, and you need to get back into the crowd.
After a show, if I am not rushed and it’s appropriate for the venue, I may well put on my cover-up and hang out and answer questions. I will be happy to tell you why my dance looks different than the belly dance you see at Shish Kebab House, but I won’t agree with you that mine is better, because guess what, I know those other dancers and I love their dancing. I will recommend teachers for you, or for your girlfriend. But if you make some awkward creepy comment about how you wish your girlfriend danced like me, wink wink, I do not have to stand there and take it. I will tell you where my troupe is dancing next. Unless you’re staring at my chest, in which case I’ll vaguely state that you should check our Facebook page.
I am a dancer, and I am only here to dance.